Every journalist asks him this question, in a press conference, interview or even in any casual meeting, “Who will succeed Geelani”. Over the past couple of years the question has been making rounds in the separatist political circles. Now, we at Timez of Kashmir think that it is our social (and political) obligation to find a suitable successor for the veteran leader Syed Ali Shah Geelani. The requirements are listed below, if you are the one or know someone who is close grab him by his collar, slap him twice and take him to Mr. Geelani’s office. The two slaps are very necessary; if he reacts back he should be let of, because he cannot fulfill the basic criteria of non violence as preached by Mr. Geelani.
Now we all love Mr. Geelani, no doubt about it, since the days he yearned to be a Member of Parliament in Indian Parliament to the day he opted for full integration with Pakistan, to the day he decided we want independence, to the day he realized he was a Pakistani, his successor should have this quality. He should be able to give a call for hartaal every third week of the month, and every Friday should be kept aside for practicing free speech. He should have a good knowledge of the principles of Islam so that he might be able to counter any mullah’s claim that stone pelting is un-Islamic, he should then revert that too.
Looks don’t matter but he should be photogenic. He should be able to smile in front of the camera and talk in pure Urdu when Barkha Dutt is interviewing him. He should wear a karakuli and keep a fistful of beard.
He should not commit any mistake and accept it or be ashamed of it; rather he should be able to laugh at it of course denying it was a mistake.
P.S.:- His children should necessarily be settled abroad
Anybody out there who satisfies these criterions may please give a call for strike. The ability of the candidate will be tested on the basis of the success of the hartaal.
Added later :- Education no bar.
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